In the beginning...

Welcome to Anhydrous Wit. The name of my blog comes from the mystery novel Good News Bad News by David Wolstencroft. For years, I have been told (or accused) that I have a dry sense of humor. Thanks to this author, I now can tell people, "No, I have an anhydrous wit."

This blog will demonstrate my eclectic "ponderings", as I like to call them. Some people don't understand dr... anhydrous humor. Sometimes, maybe I'm just not as funny as I think I am. I hope you'll stick with me, though, through the good and not-so-good. I'll talk about my condo, my job, my experiences, places I have been, some of the people I know, some that I don't, and stupid people -- boy, will I go off on stupid people. Naturally, the names will be concealed to protect the innocent (or naive). In life, I make it a rule not to discuss politics, religion, or sex, with exceptions limited to very few, close friends. I'll stick with that rule online, as well, although some exasperation towards politicians might creep in.

My technological expertise is, well, limited, to say the least. As such, this blog might appear austere compared to others, but we'll see if I can improve over time. Plus, I use a dial-up ISP with an "old" computer, so I'll definitely avoid all the cutesy, moving, noisy, or otherwise complex features that confuse my poor machine into shutting itself down. Hey, if I can't multitask, why do I need a computer that does it?

I'm starting my blog on quite an appropriate day: my birthday. My parents and close friends already know this. For those of you who have forgotten, and if you feel intensely sorrowful about being remiss, gift cards from Barnes & Noble are not unwelcome. (Alternatively, you might come and fix the leak in my laundry room.) Since it's my "natal day" (as the late, Philadelphia radio personality Ken Garland deemed it), my first topic will be my physical well-being.

I've just signed up for my third year at a gym. At the start of each year, I request a fitness check, which records my weight, body mass index, body part measurements (no snickering now!), and how much weight I can lift during select exercises. Overall, the news was pretty good. My weight dropped four pounds -- not a great deal, and probably not statistically significant, but a positive sign nonetheless. My biceps increased 1.5" in diameter (okay, maybe not a big deal for some people, but after many years of toothpick arms, I actually have something to show off), and 2" for my thighs. My waist was unchanged, which means I'm getting denser. (Oh boy, did I just invite comments with that one!) My strength increased for the second year in a row, and, hypothetically speaking, I should be able to lift my body weight (another great accomplishment for someone who has never been able to do a pull-up or chin-up). In fact, I might even head down to the pull-up bars by the campus track and try it!

Oh, you noticed I didn't mention my body mass index? The reason I didn't is because it warrants its own commentary. My exercise specialist showed me a chart with age vs. percent body fat. Apparently, I just hit a milestone. Yesterday, I was in the age cohort listing my fat level as medium to high. Today, I am suddenly in low to medium. Amazing how much difference a single day can make, no? "What a difference a day makes, twenty-four little hours."

I guess I'll wrap it up here. After all, I need to post this so all you good people can see it, and then I need to e-mail everyone I know (at least the ones for whom I have e-mail addresses) how to find it. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it enough to come back for more.