Anhydrous Wit

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Wednesday, August 08, 2018

Giving the Boss the Bird

There is entirely too much nature around my office these days.  First was the bear, then a snake.  This morning, I walked into the office and heard what sounds like a couple of birds (or an adult bird & at least one chick) singing in the storeroom.  (Well, until I started typing this.  They've suddenly gone silent.)  The room has a door to the outside, so it should be easy enough to open it and let them fly out (unless it's a nestful that suddenly appeared overnight), but I'd really like to know how they got in there in the first place.

Monday, July 30, 2018

Everybody Polka!

On the radio this weekend, I heard (or thought I heard) the name of a performer that sounded like "Tiny Two-Tone".  My bored, creative mind quickly came up with what I think is a nifty, alliterative name for a polka band:  Two-Ton Tony and the Teutonic Tetons.  (It sounds like more Germanic polkas than Polish ones.)

Thursday, July 19, 2018

More, if You Can Bear It

The Santa Fe New Mexican published this story about the bear.  They expressed only limited information.  They did not say anything (maybe they didn't know) that the bear had been spotted (by me & my coworker) about two hours earlier and more than 2.5 miles to the west.  We suspect the bear was following the arroyo and got even more confused when it reached a more populated area.

It's not unusual for New Mexican bears to venture down from the mountains, in search of food during droughts, but to get as far from the mountain as this one did is quite surprising.

Close Encounters of the Furred Kind

I was noodling in the nursery area of our yard yesterday morning, pulling weeds and sorting plants.  (Why the guys who unload the plants don't or can't keep species together is beyond me.)  A coworker stopped by to chat on her way to check out some rocks.  Then, the solid waste driver, who had just exchanged one of the roll-off dumpsters, yelled from his truck, "Look out for the bear over there!"

"Yeah, right," we were thinking, "He must be...  Holy crap!  There's a bear over there!"

(From Prisoners of the Sun by Herge)

It was a brown bear, approximately four feet long on all fours, and it was running right at us!

As we hustled back to the (presumed) safety of our office (a lot farther away than I remembered), coworker asked, "Do you have a cell phone?"  "No," I replied, "and even if I did, I wouldn't stop to take a picture!"

As she told the story (numerous times) to coworkers throughout the day, she said that the bear was as startled by us as we were of him, and he turned tail and ran the other way.  I couldn't tell you.  All I know is that, based on every TV show and movie I've ever seen, if you turn around to look, whatever is chasing you will catch up to you*.

After the first jolt (I did leap as high as Captain Haddock did, above), we stopped running and just walked purposefully.  My brain was asking, "Aren't you just supposed to play dead?" while another part replied, "Who cares?  There's a wild animal that could kill you!"

I really wanted to tell my friends about this via e-mail yesterday.  I could bearly restrain myself.  After all, how often do you get to tell people how you bearly lived to tell the tail?  I just had to grin and bear it.

* The only exception I know of is the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who, who can not chase you as long as you are looking at them.

Friday, July 06, 2018

Asserting my Independence?

It seems that I have a history of acting in ways that don't exactly fit with Independence Day.

The first was when I was a teenager, attending an academic camp.  In this program, we were in the classroom all day Monday through Friday, with weekends off.  The program lasted for three weeks.  As such, we lost track of time.  We knew when it was Saturday or Sunday, but other days and all dates were lost to us.  I didn't even realize it when I put on a British flag T-shirt, which I was so proud of acquiring in London, on July 4.

How did I acknowledge Independence Day this year?  I started by reading a Tintin (Belgian) book while eating breakfast.  I spent most of the day watching DVD's of Doctor Who (British).

You can take the boy out of Europe, but you can't take Europe out of the boy.

Tuesday, July 03, 2018

Hot and Bothered

The air conditioner (A.C.) at my house has been broken for about a month.

SNAFU #1:  It broke during the hottest time of the year, and during the period when temperatures were hotter than average, and for a longer period of time than average.

SNAFU #2:  Repair company couldn't make their (first) visit for 1.5 weeks.

SNAFU #3:  Technician did not fix the problem.  It wasn't the filthy filter.  It wasn't the wiring.  It wasn't the (flux) capacitor.  Ergo, it must be the condenser.

SNAFU #4:  Replacing the condenser is expensive.  Condensers are not stocked on the repair trucks because they are proprietary parts for each unit.  (In other words, each one is different.)  Ergo, the A.C. is still broken.  Ergo, he will have to come back.

SNAFU #5:  Return visit was not set up with me, so my mobile phone "blew up" (to use the vernacular) yesterday morning.  During my lunch break, I called to find out why someone kept calling me & found out, "The technicians are at your house," and need to be let inside.  Ergo, I must leave work, unpaid, because I had no notice of the visit.

SNAFU #6:  I arrived home and was immediately told by the technicians, "They gave us the wrong condenser."  Ergo, the A.C. is still broken.  Ergo, they will have to come back.  Ergo, I will lose more time at work.

Now you understand why I'm hot under the collar.

Monday, June 11, 2018

The Eighth Deadly Sin

One of my brothers e-mailed me to wish me a happy birthday.  Nice of him to remember.

The other brother left me two voice mails (one on my mobile & one at home) saying the same thing.  However, he also stated exactly how many years old I am.  Bad brother.  No cookie.

Thursday, June 07, 2018

From Last to First

Last week, on the last day of May, I saw something for the first time.  I was in the family room, and I spotted a tail pass by our sliding glass door.  It wasn't a roadrunner's tail.  It wasn't a neighbor's cat's tail.  (It was too slender for a cat's tail, anyway.)  I crept a little closer to the door, to see if it was still out there.  I saw a ground squirrel drinking from the birdbath.  (It must have hopped from the patio onto our whiskey barrel planter then up to the birdbath.)  That should tell you how dry it has been here, that a native animal I've never seen in our neighborhood before was so thirsty it was drinking from our birdbath.

The other last is that this is the last day before my birthday.  I'm taking the day off work tomorrow, so I likely won't get to a computer with internet access, so I'm doing my annual happy-birthday-to-me dirge today.  Unfortunately, I have no deep thoughts this year, except that, since my birthday is on a Friday, that means calories don't count all weekend.  (I think I've mentioned that before, but that's the first of Chlorophyll's Laws.)