Anhydrous Wit

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Please Don't Eat the Daisies

A coworker specified the Double Scoop Cranberry or Pow Wow Wild Berry Coneflower for her latest landscape design.  As I was searching our nurseries for pricing, I came across several other Coneflower cultivars named after foods:  Tomato Soup, Cranberry Cupcake, Hot Papaya, Now Cheesier, Purple Merlot, Raspberry Tart, Supreme Cantaloupe, and Vanilla Cupcake.  (I'm guessing the same breeder developed all of them.)  I've stopped thinking about work and started thinking about dinner (and dessert).

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Failure to Suspend Disbelief

As if I'm going to believe a telemarketer with an East Indian accent when he tells me his name is "Mark Smith".

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Don't call us. We'll call you.

Aside from me not blogging in practically forever, you'll not hear from me by phone.  I went to purchase new minutes for my mobile phone last night, and the store didn't have any phone cards in my desired denomination (nor any lesser denominations that could add up to what I need).  Therefore, my phone is a nice paperweight until I can buy more minutes.  If you really want to call me, you'll have to use my mom's landline.

Monday, June 13, 2016

Snap, Crackle, Ouch!

Let me assure you that the above noises have nothing to do with my dental appointment this weekend.  I let the hygienist know about my tooth pain, and despite looking and poking, and after all the scraping and cleaning and polishing, I didn't feel any pain, nor could she see anything wrong with the tooth.  She let me know that, if I felt the pain again, I could make an appointment or stop by for an emergency visit between other patients.  In the meantime, I now keep hoping that the pain doesn't recur, and I am enjoying chewing with both sides of my mouth.

On a completely different topic, here at work I issue estimates.  If the customers accept the estimates, they sign them and send us a copy.  I send nearly all estimates as pdf attachments to e-mails, and we accept the signatures via e-mail, fax, or postal mail.  It works, and no one complains.  Until Friday, that is.  One customer called me and asked if she could send an electronic signature because printing the estimate, signing it, then scanning and sending it back to us would be "too much of a hassle".  Lady, in the olden days, we used to do everything by mail.  (That sound you hear is Progress running over my dinosaur toes.)

Wednesday, June 08, 2016

Another Day Older and Deeper in Debt

Yes, I definitely have passed the age of celebrating my birthday.  I now see it as another milepost of decline.

First off, I went to my optometrist earlier this year and told him that I think I need bifocals.  He said it happens to everyone about the age of 40.  It's nice to know I made it nearly five years beyond that.  Plus, it was a lot easier for me to tell him than it would've been for him to tell me.  He altered my contact lens prescription slightly and recommended a low power of reading glasses.

Second, just three days ago, I suffered from a toothache.  All sorts of things are running through my mind.  Thankfully, the pain went away, and I have a previously scheduled dental appointment (for a cleaning) this weekend.  I'll ask them to look at the tooth while I'm there and determine what sort of problem I have and what solutions there may be.

Do you see now why I don't feel happy about turning another year older?

What really doesn't bode well on one's birthday is waking up from a dream about one's impending demise and funeral plans.  Yeah, that was a great kickstart to my day.

Friday, May 20, 2016

Too Much Thinking, Not Enough Doing

Work has been a little hectic this morning, but when I took a bathroom break, my mind was able to ponder other things, things such as this.

Could we call a thick liquid -- that is, one with a high specific gravity, such as molasses or glycerine -- a "thiquid"?

Monday, May 16, 2016

Smile! I'm Not on _Candid Camera_.

One of the office security cameras points right at my desk.  I often feel self-conscious because of this, even when I know I'm not doing anything wrong.

The other day, the office manager commiserated.  "I don't like them, either.  That's why you see me unplug them every morning."

I feel more at ease now.  I think I'll pick my nose.