Anhydrous Wit

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Gasoline Alley Oop

A news reporter this morning used the phrase "back alley".  Are there ever alleys in front?  I suppose there could be alleys on the side.  Maybe the phrase comes from where I grew up in NJ, where it seemed that every bowling alley was the rear building in a shopping center?

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Now That's a Wily Coyote

My daily commute takes me through an Indian reservation.  For a little while, it's nice to see some wilderness so close to civilization.  (The tribe also keeps a bison herd, which sometimes can be seen from the road.)  The other day, I drove by a coyote.  It was in the opposite driving lane (which was empty), watching & waiting for my car to pass.  In my rear-view mirror, I saw him/her continue across the road after I had driven by.

Friday, November 16, 2018

A T(r)opical Question

Dear Mr. Sartorial:

Is it permissible to wear a Panama hat with Bermuda shorts?

Tuesday, November 06, 2018

What's so Special about Today?

If you're as sick of politics as I am, give a listen to this.

Monday, November 05, 2018

A Tale of Two Cities

Wherever I live, I can't shake my upbringing in southern New Jersey.  Usually, it refers to the speed I move versus slower parts of the country.  In the case of my aforementioned idea about moving to England, I think I will combine the best of both worlds.  I will have a Philadelphia delicacy for my English afternoon snack:  tea and Krimpets.

Thursday, November 01, 2018

Don't Hurt Yourself, Cap'n

A coworker (during her lunch break) commented on a Facebook posting by a relative whose entire family dressed up as lions for Halloween.  "They must be so proud," I remarked.  "Get it?  Pride of lions."

If our office manager hadn't been so weakened by the pun, she would've thrown something at me.

Lies, Da*n Lies, and Statistics

Every Halloween since I can remember, my mom would count how many children come to the door.  If you think this is a bit obsessive or nit-picky, try to think of it as gauging how much candy we'll need to buy for next year.

Last night was "cold" in the mind of Albuquerqueans.  I thought it finally dropped to the typical temperature I was used to trick-or-treating in back in N.J.  I (figuratively) shudder to think of the temperatures in more northern states or Canada.

Because of the temperature, I had only 2/3 of last year's number:  190 instead of about 300.  When I bought candy, I recalled from last year that only two of the 150-piece bags would be enough.  More than enough for this year, apparently.  Oh, well.  More candy for me!

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

In Which I Am Crude

I arrived at work a short time ago.  One of the story headlines in today's newspaper in the break room read, "Lottery creating game tied to sports".  Before reading the article, I figured it was about a new scratch-off game.  (Based on what I've seen at gas station counters, lottery scratch-off tickets tend to have themes.)  A natural for a sports-related one would be "Scratch Your Balls".