And on the seventh day, God went bowling.

Finally, I found something to do in The Noog on a Sunday! You can even eat a meal or drink beer while doing it! (Although I didn't.)

I participated in a bowling tournament, and I met a team (literally) of interesting people. Before I get too deep, though, I'll forecast that some of what I say might be misconstrued as insulting. It isn't intended to be so, but my wit is so anhydrous at times that some people consider me an extremely serious person.

The tournament was a benefit for the Chattanooga Locomotion, a full-contact, women's football team.

Um, yeah, you read that right, and you're probably thinking I spent the afternoon surrounded by large, sturdy, almost masculine women. (You'd be right). A couple of them wore makeup.

Ahem. Sorry. See what I mean? I will not, however, make a joke with the song lyrics, "Everybody do the Locomotion". (Oops.)

The woman who invited me said to be at the bowling alley at two o'clock. I hung out with the few token men, making small talk for half an hour, as the team chowed down on pizza, burgers, fries, etc. from the snack bar. After a comment about how we were told to show up half an hour before the real start time, one of the men said it was "lesbian time". He wasn't being negative, though. Some of the small talk was the story how he met his husband (his word).

I was teamed with two team members. I didn't talk much to Denisha; when she wasn't bowling, she was on her cell phone or bouncing around the lanes, chatting with everyone. I tried to chat with A.J., but she was too concerned about how poorly she was bowling and how she was trained for basketball but she made the team anyway. I couldn't ask her about the team, though, since she had just made the tryouts the day before. She reminded me a bit of the actor who portrayed the football-playing son-in-law on the former sitcom Reba. (But the actor is prettier.)

So what did I get for my tournament fee? Three games of bowling, a small water bottle with the team's logo (I do like the logo), and a season ticket to the Locomotion's home games. Anybody interested in watching a bunch of burly broads bash into each other during summer Saturday evenings?