Op Art

I finally hung the picture in my kitchen, the one I had held off on until my blinds were installed. I hung it at the same level as the other picture, and it’s in the same size frame as the other picture, but it looks funky. I now have an optical illusion in my kitchen. The problem is that the arch windows on the north wall are shorter and wider than those on the east wall.

I hung the first picture on the east wall and lined it up with the top of the rectangular blinds (now the bottom of the arch blinds). I can not do that with the picture on the north wall because the windows (being wider) are too close together, so there isn’t enough room for the picture. Second, because the windows are shorter, the top of the rectangular blinds also is lower.

I decided to hang the second picture at the same height as the first. I measured from the top of the wall to the base of the east picture frame. I then marked the north wall at the same level and held the second picture to the wall to compare. They looked completely off. I remeasured and checked again. It still looked wrong. Perhaps, because I live in a "vintage" house, the walls settled differently? I stood next to the east picture and noted a part of my body (just above my chin) where the bottom of the picture was, so I could compare the distance from the floor. It still measured the same.

I then checked the distance from the top of the east picture to the ceiling, verified that the picture frames are indeed the same size, and checked the distance from the second picture to the north ceiling. Again, the distances matched. Huh. Funny that. My brain is saying that the measurements are identical, so it must be right, but my eyes are telling me no. Trusting numbers and logic over observation, I hung the picture on the north wall at the same height as the one on the east wall.

I invite you to my kitchen, to observe for yourself. The windows are two different widths. The windows are two different heights. The rectangular blinds are hung at two different heights. The pictures, of identical size, are hung at identical heights -- but it just looks wrong.

Speaking of things that make your eyes pop out of your head, I nearly caused a scene at the supermarket on my way home from work this afternoon. (Note: this story is not about the man in line in front of me, who tried to pay with two different forms of plastic, neither of which worked, then went to his car to get his checkbook, but he didn’t have his driver’s license with him, so they asked for his Social Security number, which the cashier punched in by hand five or six times before it worked and accepted his check. Yeah, it’s about me, not him.)

Not too long ago, this grocery store installed automatic coin dispensers when customers are to receive change. I have seen them at other stores for a number of years, and I still think they are pretty keen. Today, after numerous times of seeing them operate, one of them gave me incorrect change. In fact, it gave me two pennies too many. Naturally (if you know me at all, this will not surprise you), I returned the extra two cents to the cashier and told her that I had received too much change. The old dear in line behind me gasped and smiled because I was honest. The cashier (and some of you, too, I am certain) probably are thinking I’m a nut for worrying about two cents.

As for the customer, that shouldn’t surprise you, either. Everyone’s parents trust me. Elderly women absolutely adore me (that, and they use me to get items off the top shelf). It’s just the cross I have to bear. It could be worse.