Sorry, but you don't exist.

I remember that, when we were trying to get my grandmother a passport to take her with us to England, the federal government didn't want to give her one because she didn't have a birth certificate. So sorry, but as none of us had a time machine or a TARDIS, we couldn't return to before the fire at the church where it was kept. (Lack of a birth certificate didn't keep the government from taxing her, though.)

Nowadays, computers make this hassle infinitely more complicated. We have a seasonal employee who did not receive his paycheck yesterday because, apparently, he doesn't work here. He provided appropriate documentation to the H.R. department. He appears on the paper timesheets (although I admit that did take a while to accomplish). However, the payroll office says he doesn't work here because he's not on the computer timesheets.

In addition, I tried to print a timesheet correction form for him for a date in April, to make sure his labor will be charged to a work order, so I can close the work order. The computer, though, says there's "no verified time on file" for the employee on that date. This, of course, is because the computer doesn't know he's been working here for a month already.

Remind me again why computers are so wonderful?