Arrest that Computer!

I was pondering computer error messages yesterday. "This program has performed an illegal operation and must shut down."

What illegal actions can a computer do? Can I be charged as an accessory because it was my computer? (I certainly hope it didn't murder someone or download kiddie porn.)

Then I remembered that computers do only what they are programmed to do. Does that mean the software designer made it do something illegal? Does his boss know he wrote that into the program? Is it just a thrill that the programmer gets by putting something "naughty" into a legitimate software package? What, indeed, is the point of programming a computer to do something it's not supposed to do?

I take comfort in the fact that, if the only penalty is to end a program, it couldn't have been a major crime. Could it? Maybe my machine is one of the ten most wanted now. "Have you seen this computer?" might be on the wall of every post office in the country. (No wonder it's lying low, just sitting on my desk all day.) Instead of going "on the lam", is it "on the RAM"?