I'm not a doctor, but I play one in real life.

Over the course of 24 hours, I have diagnosed myself.

It started yesterday morning, when I realized that I'm not tired; I'm lethargic. My sleep patterns are within the "normal" range for me. However, I'm listless and lack the motivation to do anything.

Last night, I overate. This is a symptom of a depression-like state for me. (I think this dates back to my first grandmother's funeral and wake, because we Polacks celebrate our life events with food, but I'll leave Freud and childhood out of this.) Even though I had a complete dinner, and even though I knew it was wrong, I still had an apple and far too many Cheez-It's while sitting on the sofa, watching one of my Animaniacs DVD's. (But I had an apple!)

By the time I was preparing for bed, I had realized that I need to do something. I won't go to counseling because, based on my past experience, all the talking in the world won't solve my problems. Only taking action for myself will solve my problems, so why should I waste my money? The key is convincing myself to put that box of Cheez-It's back on the shelf -- and not to buy another one in the future, even if it's on sale. (But I still may have an apple.)

Also last night, I had trouble falling asleep. It wasn't just that I was thinking about work. Specifically, I was telling off Sub for everything I think he's doing wrong. (By "wrong", I don't mean he's making silly mistakes. I mean he's not following company or client policies, and he's taking actions without informing those of us who have to work with him, so we end up cleaning up messes that could have been prevented if he had sought counsel beforehand.)

This morning, it all fit together in my mind. I formed a diagnosis. I'm not depressed; I'm stressed. I've been overeating as a response to my displeasure with work. So, physician, it's time to heal thyself. What's your prescription?

First off, pills are right out. I refuse to shell out money for something that I might end up "needing" for years, even if they're not addictive. Second, it's a psychological problem, not a psychiatric one, so medicine wouldn't help in this case anyway.

Obviously, a change at work would be the most effective solution. I could always quit my job. That has the double benefit of eliminating my source of stress and cutting out the income that allows me to buy ice cream and snack foods. Unfortunately, it also has some really nasty side effects, such as loss of income, depletion of savings, and mental stress for other reasons.

Surely, there's a prescription out there that will help me.