Great Imponderables in Biblical History

1) It's probably not appropriate that I was thinking of Sodom and Gomorrah in the men's shower room this morning, but at least I was alone. ;)  Anyway, are we ever sure that someone has translated the ancient writings accurately?  The story goes that the towns were destroyed after inhabitants wanted to have sex with male visitors, even though the man they were visiting offered his daughters to the townspeople.  Maybe they actually were poor and couldn't afford their own animal for sacrifice.  Even a portion of an animal would do.  Imagine, as the fire and brimstone rains down on the cities, some poor soul crying out, "All we wanted was a piece of ass."

2) When Jesus was a little boy, do you think Mary ever yelled at him for leaving the door open?  "For crying out loud, shut the door!  Were you born in a barn or something?"