Old Dog

Maybe my problem is that I’m trying to learn too many new tricks at one time.

I enrolled in an introductory computer-aided drafting (CAD) course. The instructor started off our first class with an overview. She used some terms which I remembered from my college landscape design course, so I figured I’d do all right. Then she instructed the class to turn on our computers. My coworker (who is taking the class also) and I leaned under our desks, looked at the machines, sat back up, looked at each other, and asked, "Which button are we supposed to push?" If the machine is so complicated that I can’t even figure out how to turn it on, maybe I should leave it alone.

The instructor reviewed the syllabus, which included instructions how to save our projects: a CD-ROM, a "flash drive", or a "zip drive". What, no 5 1/4" floppy disks? Okay, I’m not so technologically challenged that I am ignorant of CD’s, but I wouldn’t have known what a flash drive is unless my coworker (the one taking the class) hadn’t already been using one at work for a few months. That seems easier to use than "burning" a CD, so he helped me pick out one at the campus bookstore. I’m not even going to bother learning what a zip drive is.

Today’s in-class assignment was to draw lines, arcs, and circles. My coworker whispered, "Look at the second monitor." On the screen was not a scrawl of odd shapes, like most of us had. Instead, the student had something that looked like a Ferris wheel, and it was spinning or rotating (or both)! Wait a minute; wasn’t this supposed to be a beginner’s class?

My irrigation class is marginally better. At least I can read faster than the rest of the class. The instructor told us to start reading the first chapter in the book, and I ended up finishing the exercises at the end, which turned out to be our first homework assignment. I had a few problems with the book, though -- like leaving out some basic information.

I can accept that the missing "/" (meaning unit "per" unit) was a typo. However, I really wondered what that constant was in the first equation presented. It turned out to be the weight (technically the density, according to the units, but why should the textbook bother with accuracy?) of water, but shouldn’t the book have defined all the terms used in the equation (not to mention calling them by the right names), so I wouldn’t have to look like a dummy asking the instructor?

Next, the book presents an example involving 1/2" diameter pipe. "By squaring the inside diameter of the pipe, .622 in, and multiplying the product..." Um, okay. How can the diameter of 1/2" pipe be larger than 1/2"? Even if the 1/2" refers to the outside diameter, shouldn’t the inside diameter be smaller? Wait. I mean the insi... Wait. What if the .622 referred to the diameter squared? Never mind. That would be 0.25, and the units would be squared. (Even if the units were a typo, the number is still wrong.) Again, I had to ask the instructor. It turns out that pipe sizes don’t match their names, kind of like a two-by-four, which is actually a five-by-ten (5 cm x 10 cm.) I can’t wait to see if the book ever explains that one.

Adding insult to injury, I have brought home the office laptop to finish my drafting homework. This is a brand new machine, which arrived just weeks ago. While I was on page three of the owner’s manual, trying to learn what all the unfamiliar keys were, aforementioned coworker was busy doing things with it, so his hands were obscuring the keyboard. Today, as he handed over the machine, he sarcastically informed me that the owner’s manual was in the bag, as well as the mouse. He seemed to have used the computer without the mouse, so I asked if the manual would tell me where to plug it in. Being a technophobe, I thought it was a reasonable question. However, he seemed to take offense. Wasn’t this the same guy who couldn’t figure out which was the power button either? If he has forgotten that quickly that not all of us can intuit how to use gizmos, I’m darn glad he’s not the instructor! (I’m also glad I didn’t ask him where I’m supposed to plug in the flash drive.)