Get Smart

Some employees will walk off with whatever isn't nailed down. There is a shower in our men's restroom, but no one ever uses it. It's just as well they don't, since the water control knobs were stolen last year; only bare copper fittings stick out of the wall. (I did not make that up.)

You will understand, then, that we keep our gloves and safety glasses in a locked cabinet, to keep them from going home with someone. Only a persistent thief could steal them. It's not that the locks are particularly difficult; it's that the process is tedious, so only someone with patience will survive the process.

First, I use my key to enter our admin. assistant's office. In there, I retrieve the key to Boss's office. Inside Boss's office is the key to the safety equipment cabinet. But wait; there's more! Next I use my key to get into the training room. Only then may I get the gloves... that are in the locked cabinet... that is in the locked training room... using the key from a locked office... using another key in a locked office... using my own key... which is in the house that Jack built. Is it any wonder I feel like I'm walking into CONTROL headquarters?