Pundering

On one of my weekend walks, I was wondering...

If one of my employees gets sick and spreads a disease amongst his/her coworkers, would you call it a staff infection?

If someone is fired because s/he is gay, would that person be a canned fruit?

The following items appeared in Reader's Digest.

"My trainer at the gym advised me to wear loose clothes," says comic Michele Balan. "Hey, if I had loose clothes, why would I join a gym?"

A gnome auditioned to conduct an orchestra. "We're sorry, but you don't have what it takes to be a conductor," the head judge said. Undeterred, the gnome bought some clothes and cool shoes and got a new haircut. He even bought a swank loft in the hottest neighborhood in the city. Then he auditioned again and was hired on the spot. Why? Because now he's a metro gnome.

On a long journey, the very thirsty Sirs Lancelot and Galahad stopped at a roadside lemonade stand. The owner served Galahad but refused to give Lancelot a glass. "What's the problem?" demanded Lancelot. "Why won't you serve me?" "Sorry," the owner replied. "This is just a one-knight stand."