Office Rules

Following my earlier post, I thought that it might be a good idea to list some behaviors that I consider inappropriate or disturbing in an office setting. I'll probably add to these over time, making a long list. My readers are welcome to contribute as many as they wish. (We might even compile enough to make a book.)

1) I don't lie. I can lie. I have lied in the past. I might tell a little white lie or omit saying something to avoid insulting or hurting someone. I do not lie at work. I'd rather be fired for making an incorrect decision or screwing something up than be fired for covering it up. If you do not believe what I tell you, then there is something wrong with you, and our trust is ruined, and I might as well start looking for another job.

2) If you accidentally pick up someone else's document when retrieving your own from the communal printer, put the other document back on the printer. Do not put it anyplace else in the office (on the table, by the fax machine, etc.) for then we don't know to whom it belongs, where to find it if it is ours, or what to do with it if it isn't.

3) If you have something for me, don't put it right in front of me, on top of the task I am working on. Even if I am having a good day, this is a sure-fire way to poke the bear.

4) Don't inform me of personal issues of employees, unless they directly relate to my job as assistant manager. Tell me that an employee said he won't be in to work for a few days. I do not need to know that his wife filed for divorce and that he intends to check in to the local mental hospital because he can't deal with that on top of the other stressors in his life. Tell me that an employee is on sick leave to care for her recuperating husband. I do not need to know the details of his "procedure", which doctors are involved, the symptoms he had leading up to the surgery, nor the medication(s) he will be taking. That is just gossip. (Note: unless you work in the medical profession, the word "pus" is not appropriate office conversation.)

5) If you notice the printer or copier or fax machine is jammed or out of paper, fix it. Do not leave it for me to do.

6) Push in your chairs. Not only am I sick and tired of doing it for you, you tend to leave them in the middle of the narrowest walkways in the building, creating safety hazards in what are already bottlenecks.

7) Turn off the damn lights when you leave the bathroom. Pretty soon, we'll have to find extra money for the utility bill from someplace, and no one's indispensable.

8) Shut up. We're here to work, not to listen to how great your favorite football team is, even though they lost -- four days ago. If we're in a meeting, stick to the topic at hand. The rest of us have other things to do (and which we'd probably rather do). Don't repeat yourself or anyone else. If you agree with something, say "ditto" and yield the floor. Don't interrupt. Don't repeat yourself. Allow other people to speak. Don't repeat yourself.

9) If you want to speak with me, get my attention. I am busy concentrating on my work, and you walked into the room very quietly, so I don't know that you are standing behind me. (Either that, or I do, and I'm pretending not to notice you because you haven't said you want me, not the printer or the fax or the copier or one of my coworkers.)

10) Don't send personal e-mails, surf the 'net, or make blog posts during work hours. :)