Jiminy Cricket

I often feel as if I am the conscience of the office. Every so often, I'll ask, "Can we do that?" or, "Does this sound better?" Thankfully, it happens infrequently, as we are an honest bunch.

Yesterday, though, I wanted to verbally lash Sub and Ob. (I probably should have, but Jiminy is such a gentle creature.) I was called in to be a neutral observer for our shop's first union grievance. Afterwards, Sub and Ob were all over me, asking, "What went on in there? Who was involved? Who's in trouble?"

I told them that I couldn't discuss personnel issues. "Well, we know what went on." I told them I was neutral and that any other information might bias me. They proceeded to say what they think the incident was about because, "We were there when it happened." Well, if they are omniscient, what are they asking me for?

For your edification (but without revealing anything), I will say that the discussion I observed was entirely procedural in nature. I have no idea about the actual cause of the complaint. Thus, Sub and Ob might be correct in their suppositions about the incident. They might even be right in saying that they were present. (Actually, given their chaotic, catalytic natures, they might indeed have precipitated something yet not be experiencing any fallout.) I was more like an appellate court, determining if a procedure was correct and not stating anything about the contents of the case.

And what is it about me and crickets this summer, anyway?