Nouning

You know what nouning is. It's when someone tries to use a noun as a verb -- and it drives me crazy.

One of the more rampant examples among my coworkers is "contact", as in "contact me at this number". Sorry, but I can't. I can call you -- I might even phone you (although that's questionable, as well) -- but I can't contact you.

One that businesses like to use incorrectly is "benchmark". When I first heard of this one a decade ago, I hadn't even heard the noun before. I guess "compare" wasn't hoity-toity enough for the consultants to charge excess money for to tell the companies what they should have discovered themselves. (My own company is guilty of this. I took a "new" policy home a few years ago for my parents to read, and my dad said, "They didn't actually pay someone for this, did they?")

Above all, the one which irks me the most is the misuse of "woman" and "women". A "woman doctor", to me, means the person is a doctor of or for women; it could be a man. Calling Hillary Clinton a "woman candidate" is wrong, too. She is a female candidate, surely, but hopefully not one for whom only women may vote -- otherwise there might be some hopping mad male democrats come this primary season.

"Mr. Language-Person" strikes again.