And the beat goes on...

Our new administrative assistant is continuing the irksome tradition set by her predecessor -- namely, listening to the voice mail at full volume. I don't mind that she accesses it on speakerphone. In fact, it seems quite handy to be able to write with one hand, hold the paper steady with the other, and not have to juggle the phone receiver nor break your neck trying to hold it between your head and shoulder (a feat in which I am far from adept). Why, though, must it be so loud that people up to two rooms away can hear and understand the messages perfectly? You know, that almost ruined some perfectly good goofing off I was doing.

Incidentally, I thought of online names for our full-time and part-time administrative assistants this morning. I think you'll be pleased. I've added them to the end of this list, which I post to inform new readers or update repeat visitors of my code names for people from my life.

Betty - the actual name of a friend from high school, my date to the senior prom, an occasional visitor to holiday meals, sometimes called my "Satanic Sister from Hell" because of how alike we are, a.k.a. the daughter my mother never had. (No anonymity here because she uses her real name on her own blog.)

Robomarkov - semi-real name of a friend from college, for whom I served as best man (ten years ago, already!), and an expert on all things computerish or otherwise technical. (Also has his own blog.)

Gimpy - another friend from college, so nick-named because he walks with crutches. This is barely anonymous because, if you've ever met him, you know exactly to whom I refer, but his other nicknames are what various people call him in real life, so I can't really use those to identify him. (Only his family use his birth name.)

Boss - my boss, and the only boss I've ever actually called "Boss".

Sub - my co-assistant manager, whose blog name I chose because he is below Boss in the ranks and because his build suggests that he has eaten far too many submarine sandwiches in his lifetime.

Ob - the bane of my working existence, the recycling manager who doesn't recycle in his personal life, one of the (hopefully) few people on the planet that can talk for three hours without ceasing or needing a drink of water or to go to the bathroom (or, indeed, making any sense). I took his blog name from a Will and Grace quote, "He puts the 'noxious' in 'obnoxious'. Come to think of it, he puts the 'ob' in it, too."

Worker Bee - the office manager/safety coordinator who is very similar in age to me and who is just as vexed by Boss's and Sub's and Ob's antics, but whom I seem to piss off royally every time I ask him any question about a computer.

Thing One - the just-introduced blog name of our full-time administrative assistant. This name will stay with the position, regardless of the person to whom I'm referring. (For example, I might still refer to our former Thing One, who left for another job.)

Thing Two - ditto (except Former Thing Two retired).