Can't get away from it all

On a lark, I decided to search my company's job postings to see what was out there. Since this is a worldwide company, I thought it could be interesting. I selected "Other Countries". No luck.

Palau (wherever that is): no jobs.
Puerto Rico: no jobs.
U.S. Virgin Islands: no jobs.
Guam: no jobs.
American armed forces: no jobs.
European armed forces: no jobs.
Pacific armed forces: no jobs.

American Samoa, for some reason, wasn't even listed.

There weren't even jobs open in the Federated States of Micronesia. What is this world coming to?