Legalese and a Euphemism

On the next city council agenda is the decision whether or not to install cameras at six intersections to photograph and cite drivers who drive through red lights. I read the draft ordinance (that thing with all the whereas's), and that's probably almost as fun as the discussion that will take place during the meeting.

First off, the vehicle which is photographed must be "driven by a natural person" in order for the citation to be valid. Also (and I don't remember the context, but it's too fun to pass up, and I am not making this up), "The singular includes the plural." I think a lawyer got his/her hands on this before it was made public.

Speaking of driving, you ought to know (or it's safe to assume) that poor drivers aggravate me. So much so, that I often break my normal silence and say unfortunate things about the driver's parentage, eating habits, and the like. Sometimes, though, I use perfectly polite words but in a disparaging manner. I caught myself the other day calling a driver "lousy pig snot". I started pondering that it's probably not the greatest insult, as it implies that, somewhere out there, there is high quality pig snot.