Part 1

(Because I know I won't have enough time to tell you about my whole trip before I have to start work.)

I worked most of the day on Fri. 9/3. "Good," I thought, "I'll at least get chocolate chip cookies at lunch in the dining hall!" Alas, they posted a sign that said they were delaying the cookies until Monday because it was Labor Day. Still, I got to see my mom that night, and that's better than cookies any day. (No, I didn't ask her to bake me cookies.)

The cheapest flight was out of Nashville, so I took the shuttle service to that airport. (Note: it costs a lot more to fly directly to/from The Noog.) Naturally, since I was the tallest passenger, I boarded the van last, and I had to sit in the back row. That meant not only bending in half and crawling over all the full seats to get there, but crawling over a C.O.S. ("customer of size") as well. (I swear, her upper arms were nearly as big around as my thighs!)

Then, of course, we had to drop off a passenger at a Nashville gas station first, not at the airport. Naturally, he was seated at the other end of the back row, so the middle passenger and I had to crawl over the C.O.S. and other passengers to let him out, then crawl back over everyone to return to our seats. (When I'm in charge, if people don't do things like seating charts in a logical, orderly fashion, they get dragged out into the street and shot.)

Need I mention that I was dropped off at the airport terminal before the C.O.S.?

I discovered that American Airlines no longer serves miniscule baggies of peanuts or pretzels on their planes. (It's a good thing I packed my protein bars.) However, they did give me a full can of ginger ale on each flight. On my return trip, Delta Airlines (for some reason, choosing two airlines created a cheaper round trip than sticking with one) gave me pretzels (or peanuts, or a cookie) but not a full can of soda. Yes, airlines are getting that stingy. Their prices aren't decreasing, but now you get to pay extra for what used to be included -- like carrying luggage. For just $9, you, too, can have a pillow and blanket during the flight! (I'm surprised they don't charge rent for the seat belts.)

I got up to use the restroom and wash my hands before our "gourmet dinner". Are they making airplane lavatories even smaller than before, or do you (guys, I mean) also hit your heads on the ceiling when you're trying to take a leak? It makes it awfully difficult to aim when your head is tilted back so you can't see where the toilet is. (Don't worry, ladies, I cleaned up afterward.)

When I emerged from the cell, a woman standing there asked me to hold her baby while she used the facilities. I don't know; maybe I have a trusting face. (But since we were locked in a metal tube suspended 35,000 feet above the ground, where could I abscond with her?) The baby looked worried, but I talked to her in what I hoped was a soothing tone, trying to reassure her that her mother would be back soon. Thankfully, her mommy emerged just before she started crying.

It was after operating hours for the ABQ shuttle service, so I took a taxi from the airport to my mom's house. Why is it that a 20-minute ride in the taxi cost me $43, but a 2-hour ride in the shuttle cost me just $39?

I weighed myself before I went to bed. Both scales in my mom's house said I was five pounds lighter than the scale I use here in The Noog. (Yet another reason to live in NM!)

Given my typically early rising hour, the two hour time zone difference, and the late flight, I was up for 22 hours. Boy, did that bed feel nice!