This Is One Reason I Seldom Cook

I follow a mystery series about a cooky baker in Minnesota.  The obvious prose setting up the recipes (included at the end of each chapter) annoys me, but the novels are quick and otherwise painless.  Usually, I ignore the recipes entirely, or I glance at them until I see an ingredient that I'd prefer not to eat.  In the case I will share here, though, I read it as a challenge.

I won't include the entire recipe here and risk a copyright violation, but I will give credit to the book Banana Cream Pie Murder by Joanne Fluke.

One of the characters alleges, "They're a no-bake dessert so they're really easy to make."  Oh, yeah?

The second ingredient is "1 cup cashew butter".  I've never heard of it, and I can't decide whether I'd find it on the shelf next to the peanut butter or in the aisle with the canned/jarred nuts.  How easy can a recipe be without one of the ingredients?  I'm half tempted to ask at the Albertson's service desk if they carry it and, if not, why not, since the Red Owl in this tiny, fictional, Minnesota town carries it.

Another ingredient is "crushed vanilla wafers".  I'll give them that one, since it's easy enough to put some cookies into a plastic bag then beat the living daylights out of those cookies with a rolling pin.

One of the later steps in the process is to "melt the chocolate chips".  Um, that's not easy, folks.  You need to have a double boiler on your stovetop.  This manages to avoid the "no-bake" clause, though.

Then you are to spread the melted chocolate with a heat-resistant spatula.  Oops, back to the store again!  (This is why you should read the recipe all the way through before you begin.)

About the only less appropriately named recipe I've seen is the "bachelor spaghetti sauce" I read about some years ago.  Dude, if you're a bachelor, you don't use a recipe.  You go to the store, buy a jar, and pour it onto your spaghetti.  Sheesh.