Through the Looking Glass

I have said (to coworkers, if not in this blog) that I simply can not understand the way that our client representative thinks. Nothing he does or says follows typical patterns of logic. The following three examples seem to be the exact opposite of what makes sense, and I wonder if that's his pattern or if they just happened.

1) He decided that, to "improve" service, one custodian and one recycling employee would collect trash and recycling from campus offices and classrooms once per week, during work hours. I wonder if he thought what would happen if the classroom is being used when the employees stop by. What if the trash is emptied on Monday but the office occupant throws away his/her smelly lunch remains on Tuesday? Did he perform a time-study to see if his plan (or lack thereof...) actually can be accomplished with over 250 buildings comprising over 3 million square feet? And, even if the 50 or so custodians can do this, how can 3 recycling employees (oh, wait, sorry -- one's a temp and won't be back in January, when this program starts)... 2 recycling employees accompany all those custodians to all those offices?

2) Traditionally, the office that coordinates commencement each semester opens a work order for us to purchase "greenery" to decorate the stage in the amount of $1,500 - $2,000. Traditionally, we have done so. Traditionally, the shrubs/perennials/what-have-you are planted on campus later. When the client rep. took over, he claimed that our contract says our company will "provide" the greenery. I proposed arguing the definition of "provide". Boss took the stance that the contract doesn't specify a dollar amount, and what does "greenery" mean anyway? Earlier this month, the client rep. said (allegedly, as it filtered through Sub, and now Sub can't remember what he told us the client said) that, if we use the work order money to buy greenery, those plants may not be planted on campus. (Note well that every one of us involved in commencement for many years asked the same question, "WTF?") So, I hatched a plan. What if we decorated the stage with nothing but houseplants, which would die if planted outside? Boss liked it, but he got cold feet. We bought lots of Poinsettias and Norfolk Island Pines but also 30 shrubs which we will pay for, just so we can show the client, "Yes, we provided greenery, per the contract."

3) About every two years, one whiner (staff member) on campus sends a letter to the student paper, complaining about the power equipment we use. Other than the professor whose office we got dirty because the groundskeeper didn't look for open windows before he used his blower around the building perimeter, we don't get complaints. Besides, this is the same guy over and over again, so why should we take him seriously? Because we have a new client, that's why. Sub (who, if you recall, had his head surgically implanted in the client's backside) prepared a lengthy (for him), painstakingly documented (for him), data-supported report for the client, saying how much longer it would take us and how many more employees we would need to rake and sweep rather than use backpack blowers. Sub says he even included data showing that blower manufacturers have decreased blower emissions and noise every year for the past decade or two. The client consulted his new (brought on just two weeks ago) supervisor, who told him, "In north Texas, we just leave the leaves there." The client, accordingly, rolled over for the whiner and decreed that we will not use blowers after 8 a.m. I guess, since we start at 7 o'clock, we'll just pull leaves out of the bushes with our hands for the rest of the day. I guess, since we're not allowed outside housing facilities until 8 a.m., we won't be using blowers there at all.

Is it just me, or does none of this make sense?