Anhydrous Wit

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Maybe they're not using base 10.

After donating blood (apheresis) this past weekend, I asked for some juice. I received a box of Hansen's Juice Slam, "Totally Tropical" flavor. The box claims it contains 100% juice in at least two different places. Here, then, I offer the ingredients list (in italics) and my comments.

100% fruit juice, (filtered water [so much for 100% juice] sufficient to reconstitute apple, pear, white grape or pineapple, lemon, mango, cherry, pineapple [in case you didn't get enough the first time], orange, lime juice concentrates), natural cherry flavor [why not use more cherry juice?] and other natural flavors [it's that "other" that worries me], citric acid, dicalcium phosphate (source of calcium and phosphorous), raspberry essence [I guess "essence" is different than "flavor"], magnesium phosphate [source of magnesium and phosphorous], vitamin c, zinc citrate [source of zinc and... citrus?], vitamin e, copper gluconate [source of... you get the idea], niacinamide [source of niacinnamon?], vitamin A palmitate [vitamin A from palm trees?], calcium pantothenate [parthenon? pantheon?], vitamin D3, pyridoxine hydrochloride [and to think my chemistry teachers told me hydrochloric acid is bad for me], riboflavin [I prefer pork rib flavor over beef rib flavor], thiamin [it's none of your business whose thigh flavor I prefer], biotin [I'm almost afraid to ask what that is], vitamin B12 [the B-52's will be playing at the Isleta Casino on July 4], potassium iodide [source of...].

By my count, there's a lot more on that ingredients list than just juice.

1 Comments:

At 9:02 AM, May 28, 2009 , Anonymous Robomarkov said...

Better living through Dow.... and I don't mean the religion or stock market.

 

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