Happy Yulhanaramakwanzmas!

I was going to basically ignore Christmas this year. Sure, I bought my employees gift cards. Sure, I've been invited to Froggy's house for Christmas dinner (and coworkers are forecasting it to be a combination of the Griswolds and the Clampetts). Sure, my mom sent me a check and I sent her gifts. Still, I wanted to let the holiday slide by. However, one of my employees brought me a gift that my crew chipped in for: a "men's grooming set".

Are they trying to tell me something? I don't let my hair get long between haircuts. I keep my fingernails trimmed. My eyebrows and nose hairs don't get out of control. (I'm too young yet for hair in/on my ears.)

The kit contains hand lotion, aftershave gel, hair gel (I'd rather the kit contain hair), facial moisturizing cream, a battery-operated hair trimmer with three attachments (but when my sideburns get bushy is how I know it's time for a haircut), one nail clipper, one toenail clipper (I guess the first one is for actual, metal nails), one tweezers (hey, that's what it says on the box), and one designer carrying bag (it would have to be a damn tiny designer to fit in that bag).

I'll bet they didn't get Elmer Fudd (my predecessor) anything last year. I'm actually kind of touched.