Just call me "Stainmaster".

Or you may call me "stupid". They both fit.

Lord knows I'm normally smart enough to tell myself, "Cap'n, don't set your soda down on the sofa." And Lord knows I'm normally smart enough to realize that sitting on one end of the cushion most likely will raise the other end of the same cushion. Beats me how neither of those thoughts entered my mind at all tonight. (Maybe I was just too hungry to think.) It even took nearly a full second for me to figure out why my leg suddenly began feeling cold and wet.

I have to give credit where credit is due. That is, I would, if that tag had still been attached to my sectional when it was delivered. Thus, I'll just give thanks to the anonymous chemical engineers who invented stain repellants for upholstery. More than half an hour after I blotted the spill, I looked over and wondered what those little, round things were. "Oh, that must be some more soda I need to get up." And now, about two hours after the spill, the site of most of the soda accumulation is slightly damp, but I don't foresee any staining.

Then again, that's why I bought this sectional instead of this one; it's darker and easier to hide dirt and stains.