Funny Money

Megabank's ATM drives me crazy. Obviously, it was set up at the whim of the corporation, not for the utility of the customers.

Point 1: You have to enter your PIN on the keypad, but then all other functions, including pressing "OK", take place on the touch screen. My dad said he once pushed the OK button on the keypad by mistake, and it switched to Chinese. (That's what we get when our bank is taken over by one based in San Francisco.)

Point 2: It offers several preset dollar figures for withdrawal, but when you select the "other amount" option, your choices are severely limited. This bank's ATM's contain only $20.00 bills. You can't withdraw $50 or $15. In fact, unless you want an amount between $100 and $200 or between $300 and $400, you don't need odd digits on the keypad at all.

Point 3: When you do want to enter your own amount, the display starts at $0.00 and works left. Say, for example, you want to withdraw $240.00. First, you push the "2". The display shows "$0.02". Then you push the "4". The display shows "$0.24". Next comes the "0". You have now told the machine you want "240", but the display shows "$2.40". Why is the ATM programmed to enter digits in the cents or single dollars place if you can't withdraw anything other than $20 increments? You now have to enter two more "0"s (making the buttons pressed "24000") to make the machine understand "$240.00".

I know it's not the machine's fault. I've known since the 1970's, "Garbage in, garbage out." It's not even the programmer's fault. He or she merely entered the code that s/he was instructed to. It's those damn middle managers that get you every time. (Where's a "B" Ark when you need one?)