Anhydrous Wit

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Monday, March 23, 2009

Is this how phone sex starts?

When I was in college, I had a job as a D.A. (short for Desk Attendant, but pronounced “duh”) in my residence hall. It wasn’t a challenging job. I would answer the phone, make change for the laundry room, check out the pool balls and cues, and check out the key to the kitchenette. On rare occasions, I’d be challenged with putting the residents’ mail into their boxes. Yippee. Whenever I answered the phone, I would say, “Regents Row, this is The Captain. May I help you?”

One day, I was busy assisting someone at the counter, and the phone rang. I intended to ask the caller if I may put him/her on hold, so I could finish with my customer. The words that came out of my mouth were, “Regents Row, this is The Captain. May I hold you?”

The female caller did not seem to find this as amusing as my male customer and I did.

Fast forward to this morning. Again, I’m answering the phone. “Grounds Department, this is The Captain. May I help you?” (When you have a formula that works, why change it?)

The female caller said, “Good looking.”

“Oh, thank you!” I said. (Hey, inadvertent compliments count just as much!)

She then corrected herself. “I meant to say, ‘Good morning. I’m looking for Boss.’”

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