Anhydrous Wit

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

P-p-p-puppy power!

Two former employees were like favored pets to Boss. Every time they did something, they'd scamper up to Boss, hoping for a pat on the head or a scratch behind the ears. "Aren't I a good dog?" they'd seem to simper. Then they'd scamper back (although the older employee lumbered more like an old bloodhound) to root up the grass some more or be a fierce guard dog against those next-to-harmless squirrels/coworkers daring to invade their territory. I won't say what I called them (to protect Boss's anonymity), but it was a hink-pink very similar to Doug's Dogs.

I don't know why it took me so long to realize it, but Sub now behaves the same way toward our client, whom I call Static. (Another disgruntled coworker called him Radio Frequency, but given that I never understand his communications, I deemed him Static, and it stuck.)

This behavior makes me sick. I do my job. I do it well. I don't curry favors or special treatment. I follow the rules. I am consistent. And, based on the number of people (even the troublemaker!) who say they're going to miss me, I am liked by nearly everyone. Now who's the loyal dog?

Perhaps my dislike of this behavior stems from childhood. Part of me is deeply ingrained with "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", but now add a useless, annoying character in the mix. Forget about "jumping the shark"; add a precocious brat to the show, and you've ensured a rapid though painful death.

Scooby-Doo went down the tubes when Scrappy was introduced. Gimme a Break was a good show until Joey Lawrence joined the cast. (I still detest him and everything he has ever done.) The Cosby Show had Raven Symone. Even my favorite Pinky & the Brain was utterly abysmal once Elmyra came along.

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