It’s official: I don’t exist.

I was in Thing One’s office with her and one of our vendors. As soon as the vendor walked outside, Sub entered and asked Thing One if he could speak with her. She said yes, but he remained silent. Being smarter than Sub, I realized that he didn’t want to speak in my presence, so I walked out. Sub immediately shut the door behind me.

He did not ask me to leave so they could talk privately. He didn’t even look at me.

This has been building for a long time. We in the office noticed that he stopped speaking to me unless he had to. (I don’t care about this. I’m kind of enjoying it.) He took over my duties without telling me. I now am taking up space in the office, collecting my paycheck. (I’m kind of enjoying this, too.) The one thing that does irk me is that he doing everything for the client but nothing for the company who gives him his paycheck. (Hey, Boss, can you give me Sub’s salary, too, since he’s working for the client now?)

Please let the IRS know that I no longer exist – but be sure that you tell them today’s date, so that they don’t try to take back the refund they gave me earlier this year.