To Coin a Phrase

I minted a new one this morning, so copyright Captain Chlorophyll (or however that works). You’re hearing it here second. Because I used it in our managers’ meeting this morning, that’s why.

I was explaining that the employee I counseled for a safety violation walked out of the room with a completely different understanding of the problem, no matter how many times or ways I phrased it. I was giving him a verbal warning for using a vehicle without working headlights -- a problem which he himself reported to me not two minutes before -- and after I had instructed him to use my vehicle instead. “So if I didn’t come to you, I wouldn’t have been caught, right?” was his take on the situation.

He used a different vehicle this morning. No problem, right? Uh-uh. My crew can’t leave things alone. A different employee, seeing the truck not in use, thought he could use it, jumped in, and took off onto campus. I made the mistake of assuming that employees won’t use vehicles that they weren’t granted leave to use.

As I was explaining this to Skippy this morning, I apologized for not being able to figure out my employees. “I know I’m not the fastest guy,” I explained, “but there’s no way I can be faster than the speed of stupid.”