Flattery will get you nowhere.

As I was walking to the campus gym yesterday morning, one of the security guards stopped me and asked who I was and where I was going. This wasn't a new employee. In fact, he has seen me several times at that hour of the morning (night) before.

"I'm sorry," he explained, "from the back, you looked like a student."

Geez, I know it was dark, but how did my big ass possibly get overlooked?