Getting (a) Shot

I was beleaguered at work by coworkers who kept saying, "You should get a shot for that poison ivy."  They didn't care that the worst part has already passed nor that the gel I got at the drugstore helps me immensely.  Then my boss reported it to the office manager as a workplace injury, which meant paperwork and a trip to the clinic.  I thought peer pressure was for smoking or drinking or something, not for an unnecessary treatment because they're uncomfortable just looking at my rash.

The doctor prescribed a shot (the contents of which I can't remember) and steroid tablets.  The shot was administered by a physician's assistant who told me that he's highly allergic to poison ivy (medical irony?).  He claimed that he was going to inject my hip, but where he jabbed me most certainly was not my hip!

Gee, I don't even know the guy's name, and he expects me to drop trou in front of him?  Medics must have a different view of intimacy than I do.  (It's a good thing I wasn't wearing any of my fancy underwear.)

After what seemed like five minutes, the syringe was empty, and I could pull up my pants and leave.  The first effect of the shot was noticeable when I was leaving my mechanic's office and accidentally backed into the doorjamb, right in the spot where I got the shot.  The second effect was that I started itching in more places than I have the rash.  (This shot is supposed to cure me, right?)  I'm about to go bats.  ("Battier," you're thinking.)  I'm definitely not giving up my anti-itch gel.

As for the pills, steroids are supposed to make me angry, give me pimples, and shrink my manly parts, aren't they?  I read the information enclosed with the pills and figured I ought to take them anyway.  (It mentioned the mood swings but not the other stuff.)  However, if I wake up in the morning, swear loudly at my alarm clock, yank it from the cord (leaving the cord plugged in to the wall), and throw the clock across the room, I'll discontinue their use.  If taken as directed, the supply is used up in six days, so I figure that any potential shrinkage will be minimal and (hopefully) reversible (not that I have much use for those parts of my anatomy in the first place).