Alas, no one has ever tried to eat food off of my tummy.

I did already tell my friend Gimpius Maximus about my shopping adventure (since he is a zealot about saving money when making purchases).  He accused me of being "a dinner plate of fashion".

I'm not a dinner plate, am I?  Well, I'm working out in the hopes of becoming a salad plate.  Then again, with my height, I don't think I ever will be anything but a dinner plate.  I know!  I'm trying to stop being stoneware and become Corelle.

Gee, I wonder what it says about me that I have Fiestaware in my kitchen. ;)

Or how about this as a pick-up line:  "Hey, baby, want to come back to my place and check out my bone china?"