The Two-Flat Polka

Oh, how to describe yesterday?

There was the crew meeting with which I start every day. When I walked in, only half the crew was there. One arrived to work late. I got an e-mail from the son of another. Another arrived to work late. One didn't phone in or show up at all.

When I was pulling up my pants in the bathroom, I hit my head on the doorstop-thingy that keeps the stall door from slamming into the wall and breaking the tile. This is a common occurrence for someone my height, and I still haven't managed to injure my head in any way, but... This time, the vibrations from my head carried down my body, out my fingertips, and shook my belt so that my cell phone promptly fell into the toilet. (The school's inventory/procurement guy is checking on a replacement for me -- I mean, for my phone.)

There was the employee who said he got a flat tire on the mower, but that's okay because it keeps going flat.

Did I mention that all the mechanics were gone yesterday? The auto mechanic (on Froggy's crew, so I don't know why) was out. Mayberry (my small equipment mechanic) is on his annual, three-week mission to China. His Holiness (my part-time, small equipment mechanic) was the one whose son sent the e-mail saying he was out sick. And that's why we couldn't even do something as simple as air up a tire, because the air hoses and attachments were locked away.

Compounding that was the employee who got two flat tires on his truck, both on the driver's side, and, the more I think about it, the less I understand it. 1) He didn't see the jagged, metal, signpost bases sticking out of the sidewalk. 2) Why was he driving on the sidewalk? He must have been cutting the corner. 3) He really must have been cutting the corner if he was turning right but got the tires on the left side of the truck.

I'm kind of surprised that the soundtrack to my dream this morning was "School Teacher Blues" instead of this: