Some people would say I'm touched in the head.

My friend Betty recently posted an online quiz about philosophy.  I noted that one of the other quizzes created by that person claims it will answer the question,  "What type of people do you attract?"  That's simple.  I can tell you that without taking the quiz:  fatties and old women.  Old women have found me attractive since my cute stage at a very young age.

There are worse things to be cursed with.  I could have the Midas touch, where everything I touch turns to gold.  (I'd be the first guy that Ripley's Believe It or Not would document as having a solid gold you-know-what.)