The Weird, Wide Nephew of my Uncle Sam

Dear America,

I'm sure they were pretty.  I hope you had fun.  Now won't you please respect those of us who were trying to sleep because we have to get up for work at dark-thirty in the morning?

Me

P.S.  If I drove to work, and if I had enough time, I would honk my horn outside all of your houses on my way to the office.