I'm the first in Miss Kitty's harem.

It turns out that the swimming coach decided to prance around the pool in a "speedo" (brand name for a bikini-style swimsuit that many people use for a common name, like Jell-o or Band Aid) while everyone was gathering for commencement. Since the pool was separated from the gym by nothing but a wall of windows, the woman in charge of commencement put a stop to that pretty darn fast!

Of course, Miss Kitty had to add her negative comments that the coach shouldn't be seen in that style of bathing suit because he doesn't have the body for it, unlike me. I'm flattered, but I'm not a toothpick-thin Olympian. I wonder if they make any of these suits in overweight-but-not-quite-chubby size. You might suggest I wear one of the longer trunks, leggings, or bodysuits now made for competitive swimmers, but I'm afraid they might accentuate my generously sized rear, even if the suit is black.

So, what do you think? Red or orange to match my fiery, sexy personality? White, for the see-through factor? (Um, okay, maybe not the best choice at a boys' school.) Powder-blue, to match my eyes? (Note to self: add powder-blue contact lenses to shopping list.) How about zebra or tiger stripes?