I'm too sexy for my blog.

I found another mirror I like. It's in the varsity swimmers' locker room. It makes me look like I'm losing weight. I want to marry it and take it home, but then what would the boys do without a mirror to style their hair? (A better question is, "What are you doing naked in a boys' locker room?")

Actually, I am losing weight. The mirror agrees with the official scale outside the training room. I started to notice a difference when I was putting anti-itch lotion on the poison ivy rashes on my legs. I thought my legs felt less fat. Plus, I kinda-sorta thought I was getting a bit thinner based on my mirror at home.

Maybe by this time next year, I'll be wearing speedos for swimming instead of the boxer-style trunks I have now. So what if I'm not racing for reduced time? It'll be less annoying than rubbing my hand against the pocket that keeps floating out of my swimsuit now. I suppose the good Captain would have to wear green, but should I choose forest green? Leaf green? How about fluorescent green buttfloss? If you're focusing on that, maybe you won't notice I can't swim straight. (Plus, I could shake my little tush on the catwalk.)

I feel a little like that old Soloflex commercial with the muscular guy who said he was in better shape than when he was in college. It's true for me, but I'm nowhere near the shape he was in. Maybe by this time next year, I'll be able to post headless shots of myself on the internet, with the caption, "This is what 40 can look like."

Oh, and in case the song isn't already stuck in your head, here: