Anhydrous Wit

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Monday, January 25, 2016

Murphy's Law of Mobile Phones

The phone sits there, quietly biding its time, resting.  Then, when you pick it up and actually need to make a call with it, it tells you the battery is low and needs charging.

There might be a corollary which explains why the standard, low-battery signal is a quiet chirp, but if you're in the middle of a call, it is an extremely loud BLEEP-BLEEP-BLEEP-BLEEP which not only obscures what the person on the other end of the line is saying but makes you temporarily deaf as well.


I have reviewed my various investments and decided to reallocate some of my holdings.  I met with a representative of my brokerage firm to check if my process makes sense.  (I did not ask her opinion of my specific choices.  Not only are all decisions ultimately up to the client, most financial advisors won't say "buy this" or "sell this" because they don't want to get sued if the client ends up unhappy.)

The broker confirmed that I was using proper criteria when considering my various options.  (She also suggested one more criterion.)  Moreover, she was impressed by the spreadsheets I created and how precise they are.  I may proceed with my plans as I envisioned them.

For any of you out there who think that I'm too nitpicky, here's proof that my attention to detail is warranted.  So there.  Nyeah.  :b

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Airheads Should Enjoy This One

While refueling my car at a local service station yesterday, I observed that the charge to use the air compressor to air up your tires has jumped from a quarter to a dollar.  Oh well, I guess that's what happens with inflation.

Monday, January 11, 2016

False Advertising

I received this postcard advertisement (which I edited for privacy) in the mail.  Do you see a floor anywhere in the picture?

Thursday, January 07, 2016


The library sent me an e-mail, letting me know that one of my books was nearly due.  It was a kind thought, but I had already returned the book.

I went to the library and told one of the librarians that I had returned the book.  She led me to the shelf... and found it.  As we returned to the checkout desk, she explained that it might have been in a stack of books that was too big for the sensor to check all at once.  (Patrons are instructed to place just one book at a time on the sensor.  I guess the librarians have special privileges.)  When she set the book on the pad, though, it still didn't register.  Apparently, the problem was with the tag inside the book.  She scanned the barcode and then set about troubleshooting why the sensor didn't work, as I went on my merry way.

While I was glad that the book was there (especially since the librarian found it, so it's not as if I smuggled it in under my jacket and claimed it had been on the shelf), my feelings were dominated by a sense of smugness.  I was right.  I told you so.  And, I guess, a bit of relief, that I won't have to pay for a "missing" book.