Anhydrous Wit

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Monday, February 15, 2016

You Can't Win if You Don't Enter

What if you don't remember entering?

I received an e-mail a couple weeks ago, informing me that I had won a prize in a contest I don't remember entering, although it might have been tied in with a grocery store contest I do remember entering under a different contest name.  All the e-mail said I had to do was reply or call if I did not want the prize.  It didn't ask me for money, or anything like that.  It didn't even ask my address; the message said the prize would be mailed to the address I had provided when I entered.  I figured I'd take a wait-and-see attitude.  If something arrived in the mail, fine.  If not, I certainly wasn't out anything.

The prize did show up on my doorstep.  I am now the proud (?) owner of a mini, plastic, football helmet with the Arizona Cardinals emblem on the side, and the (allegedly real) autograph of some player I've never heard of.  (This should come as a surprise to no one, since the last time I paid attention to professional football was when the Cardinals were in St. Louis.)  I also received a $100 gift card for football-related merchandise.  Oh, well.  I suppose I can see if there is any Philadelphia Eagles junk to buy.

Monday, February 01, 2016

A Sorry Subject

When we offer an apology to someone, we say, "I apologize."  When we offer condolences, why don't we "condolize"?