Why They Call it Grocery "Shopping", not "Buying"

Because I live alone and usually buy in bulk, I don't have to go to the supermarket very often.  The last time I went was about two weeks ago, after I thought the hoarding frenzy would be over.  I was wrong.

I don't need toilet paper, paper towels, or tissues, but I was curious to see what that aisle looked like.  I have never before seen empty shelves in a supermarket.  I take that back.  They weren't completely empty; there was one box of tissues on a shelf.

There were six more boxes in the shopping cart of the woman in front of me in the aisle.  I politely pointed out to her the numerous signs, hanging from empty shelves, limiting each customer to one item.  Ashamed at being caught, she put five boxes back on the shelf.  She probably circled around after I was gone and put those tissues back in her cart, but I'm sure the cashier would've noticed.

Here are the items I DID FIND and DID BUY.
1 "fizzy water", 12-pack (calorie-free, carbonated water w/natural flavor)
1 cheese block, 12 oz. package
1 mayonnaise, 16 oz. jar
1 bananas, 4 per stem
1 sandwich bread, loaf
1 shredded wheat cereal, box
1 apples, 5 lb. bag
1 tortilla chips, 1 lb. bag
1 mixed salad, 1 lb. bag
1 ravioli in tomato sauce, can
1 macaroni in tomato sauce, can
Did you notice I limited myself to one of each item, even if there was no limit?

Here are the items I DID NOT FIND or DID NOT BUY because they were completely sold out, or the store brand, which I usually buy, was depleted.
yogurt, plain, 16 oz.
hot dogs, non-beef, 8-pack
macaroni & cheese, box
cookies  (actually, I forgot to look for this item)

All in all, not a bad result.  Plus, since I limited myself to one of each item, I spent a lot less than usual.  Bonus:  I accidentally discovered where they had hid... moved my preferred brand of pickles.  (I did not buy any because, being one of the few name brands I like, I buy them only when they're on sale, and then I stock up.)

The warehouse club where I went on the way home from work this evening is notorious for moving items around periodically.  I think they do it because the managers think customers will walk by other items and impulse-buy.  All it does is get me mad at the time I waste looking for the item that "always used to be right there".  (Note:  tonight, they had moved the soda again.)

Unfortunately, the warehouse club has shrunk its hours in response to having fewer customers, so it's all I can do to leave work on time, drive the speed limit, deal with highway delays due to road construction or collisions (sometimes both), and get to the club before they close on weeknights.  (I never go on weekends.  It's a madhouse.)  Tonight, after I refueled my car (which I always do first, so any cold items I buy don't have more time to warm up), I had just fifteen minutes to do my shopping.  Did I make it?

These are the items I DID FIND and DID BUY.
1 milk, box of 2-gal.
1 eggs, tray of 2 dozen
1 sliced ham (for sandwiches), 2-pack
1 bacon, 4-pack
1 frozen veggies, mixed, 5.5 lb. bag
1 Dr. Pepper, 35 cans/tray (no, I don't know why not 36)
1 oranges, 13 lb. box
1 mixed nuts, 2.5 lb. jar

I think I got to the checkout line just at closing time.  Considering that the refrigerated and frozen section are in the very back of the store, in the far-opposite corner from the entrance, I think I did pretty well.  (Thanks, mom, for giving me such long legs.)  There were just three items I DID NOT LOOK FOR so DID NOT BUY on this trip.
ground beef
chicken breasts, boned
juice, non-refrigerated
(I'm not running out of them yet, so they can wait a bit.)

I didn't look to see if they had any toilet paper or paper towels.  Actually, since I don't buy those items at the warehouse club, I don't even know where that aisle is.

I'll have to return to the grocery store soon.  I've eaten nearly all the bread and cheese, and the salad is long gone.  (I don't care for the brands of bread the warehouse club stocks, and I don't think I could eat however many pounds of salad they sell before it goes bad.)  Plus, there are those other items I didn't get and still want.  And, if I get just one item at a time, I can slowly stock up on some of the others.  Come to think of it, some canned fruit would be nice, too.

Please Hand Me My Cane

I am at the age where there's a disconnect between my mind and body.  My mind feels young.  My body doesn't.  Then again, my mind also thinks that something from 12 years ago is "recent", so maybe I shouldn't trust my mind, either.

Plus, I've never been good at estimating people's ages.  I thought I had it right, for once, today.  Guess I was wrong again.

I was at the warehouse club, picking up a flat of Dr. Pepper.  A kid was there, and the flat he held was falling apart, so I helped him keep the soda cans from crashing to the floor & spraying all over us.  I say "kid" because he had down on his upper lip.  He looked barely old enough to shave.

"Thanks.  My wife asked me to pick up her favorite beverage."

WIFE?

This "kid" looks barely old enough to shave, and he has a WIFE?

Okay, I'm going to go home and die now.